Psychological Disorders in Children’s Cartoons? Yes please.

fuckyeahvulgarcartoons:

Source: thesarcasmsociety

21 February Permalink

Motion Sensor Toilets Need to Get Their Shit Together

I’m pissed.

I heart potty puns.

First and foremost, I’d like to point out to all readers that there is usually a little button on top of the toilet that functions to manually flush away your excrement in the case of (likely) sensor malfunction. So for those of you who just walk away and expect that it’s going to flush itself every time… the world is glad you’re reading.

This also causes a problem in public bathrooms where motion sensors do not exist. Are more people neglecting to flush because they are so accustomed to not having to touch anything in the bathroom? It seems so. Or can they not lift their legs two feet off the ground to give the lever a little kick like everyone else?

Oh, and news flash, boys, you’re supposed to flush urinals. They have a flusher for a reason. We don’t just flush the number 2’s.

Hm, I digress. Let me try to bring home some kind of point here…

Whether you are brave enough to actually use a public toilet, or are unfortunate enough to be a female and have no choice in the matter, you’ve likely experienced the horror that is the motion sensor toilet.

You open the stall door and approach the porcelain demon. The little red light blinks—it sees you! Now you can’t move. Wearing a jacket? A backpack? Too bad. You know better than to take them off unless you’ve braced yourself for the premature projection of the previous person’s piss. Of course these toilets need to be strong enough to pass a brick, so don’t be surprised to see water all over the walls and floor. You’re in the splash zone now.

So you somehow get to this point unscathed and finally sit down. But now you won’t dare lean forward or sit back, for you know you’ll get a cold, wet, anal awakening if you do.

You are ready to finally leave your stall, and it is very likely that your toilet has flushed itself at least twice. Consider this my comment about wasting water/energy.

You get the point. It doesn’t take much to set off these fuckers when they actually do work, and when they don’t work, well, it’s just plain gross.

Now imagine an alternate scenario. I’d say that most people have probably experienced the unfortunate descent of a formerly clean, dry, and possibly even electronic object into the watery abyss. I know I’ve let a comb or two slip in my day. But what is the reaction to a falling object? Usually a quick lunge if you’ve got good reactions and aren’t afraid of the water, or maybe a frantic flailing of the limbs if you don’t react as well as others in such disaster situations. Either way, what will these sudden movements cause?

WOOOSHHHHHLUUUURRPPPPKACHOOOOOOMGLERRRGGGSHHHHHHHHHAA. I actually do a really mean impression of a motion sensor toilet. Please stop me on the street and ask me to do it for you.

20 February 8 Permalink

Children’s Book Explaining Homosexuality

hedwigthefeminist:

12 February 99675 the--circle-of-life-deactivated Permalink

Umbrella Thief

OKAY so some of you may be sorta-kinda-maybe wondering why I fell off the face of the Earth, at least in terms of tumbling. Or it’s probably more likely that you only just noticed that I haven’t posted anything in a very long time.

I don’t really have an excuse—except that I’m kind of almost cheating on tumblr. Woops!

Today I left my Behavior and Integrative Neural Science class and went on my merry way to eat lunch before having to go to work. It was only after I sat down to eat that I realized I had an unread text from a number I did not recognize and another from a friend in my class. I called my friend and she informed me that she gave my phone number to a guy in our class because I left the room with the wrong umbrella.

At this moment my obvious mental response was “what do you mean? I have my umbrella.” Well it turns out that I indeed had his umbrella, which just so happened to be identical to mine. He told me that I took it from under his seat and left mine under my seat. He wanted to switch back. Apparently his was more “new.”

To get to the point, we spent a significant amount of time trying to plan the umbrella switch-back interaction. Then I went to meet him and he told me that he accidentally texted the wrong time. Jerk. So I went to work for a few hours and met up with him after I left. And by “met up with,” I mean that I, guided by his highly vague texts, found the exact room in Meyer in which his lazy ass was situated, and amiably switched the umbrellas with minimal interaction.

Maybe the moral of the story is to simply resist buying umbrellas from K-Mart. Yeah, that must be it.

A few days later and I now have lost my umbrella. It’s black. If you find it, let me know. (That’s a joke; but I really did lose it!)

9 February Permalink

The Plight of a Human: A Life of Internal Conflict

Reason is eternally poisoned by emotion. Some might argue the converse. I might not argue at all. We’ll leave it at that, I suppose.

I just saw Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part I. It was incredible, of course, as expected. However unfortunate, I did have to endure acute pain in both my eyes throughout the movie. Maybe I do have viral conjunctivitis after all (pink-eye). Though for the sake of those close to me I prefer to suffer a bacterial compromise to my vision.

Nonetheless, the movie was nothing short of impressive in all ways. I much appreciate, specifically, the large increase in Dobby’s presence as a character, and the (rightfully so) inflated role of muggle-born witches and wizards in the wizarding world. I feel like I cannot wait for the final installment of this epic series, though I’m sure this notion will only last a few hours or days. I couldn’t help but pick apart little things that weren’t perfect, but overall I was very pleased with the decisions that were made. And the crowd was great; I really enjoyed the atmosphere in the theater. I’m definitely coming back to see “Part II” at the same theater.

I will likely go to the health center tomorrow to see if anyone can salvage these two humorous inconveniences, that is, not the funny kind of humorous.

I feel like I should say good night or something. Good night.

19 November Permalink

A Question of Sanity

I wake up every morning, question reality and my sanity, and then rise. I’ve never known it any other way.

Why do I do what I do, feel what I feel, and think what I think? Am I sane? One might assume that I must be in order to sit here long enough to question it, but that in itself connotes the contrary. Most definitions of the word are vague and barely helpful. If asked, I’d describe sanity as a certain rationality of action and thought with respect to the perception of reality.

I don’t mean to be so abstract and philosophical, but reality is only what we perceive. So then what is actually there? Well, nothing, I guess, since our sense of existence is simply that. Without it, nothing does exist.

So then how can one perceive reality wrongly? By not perceiving it the same way other people perceive it, maybe?

I’m often told that I create obstacles that aren’t there, look too far into a situation, or over-analyze things. This forces me to create a mindset wherein this idea of sanity isn’t as much disregarded as I would like to call “loosely defined.”

Sleep.

10 November Permalink

I Always Tell Myself…

… That every moment I spend studying for an exam gives me a result that is that much better.

It’s really difficult to convince myself that studying actually helps, especially when I can study my brains out for over a week and still barely pass.

And just now, I got really frustrated because I was caught up in layers and layers of intense organization in this sea of information, ultimately realizing that I would never understand all of it.

I just need to keep looking at the positive side of it. And it’s really hard, especially when I really want to sleep or do something that I actually enjoy. But I’m trying.

This is hell week. I have an exam on Friday and another one on the upcoming Monday. Tomorrow I’m busy literally all day until 10:00pm, so that isn’t going to give me time to study. But I’ll just take my life one day at a time, hour by hour, just for this week at least.

I can get through it. And if I don’t, well, then I guess I didn’t deserve to, right? ;)

9 November Permalink

dearblankpleaseblank.com

Sincerely, Starving College Student.

7 November 8 Permalink

Well, we’re all kind of ignorant, yes?

Don’t get me wrong, living in ignorance can be a blast, but finding out you’re ignorant kind of can suck a real lot.

You get that deep feeling in the pit of your stomach, like you missed something crucial. You wonder how you couldn’t have known, or how you could have overlooked something so important. If you never heard about it, and nobody told you, then is it your fault? Would you rather not know? Would you choose to ignore something to which you recently had your eyes opened?

Well, I’d rather know; I like to know everything. Do you? It’s quite easy to find frustration birthed from the destruction of ignorance. I enjoy taking anger and frustration as opportunities for growth, as opposed to ignoring things all together and finding ‘bliss.’

29 October 1 Permalink

Fucked. Orally.

The title pretty much says it all. ;)

This is the long and drawn out story of my dental/orthodontic life!

As a young child I had a lot of ear infections and therefore took a lot of antibiotics. Apparently antibiotics fuck with your teeth in weird ways, chemically speaking. Yeah, I didn’t know either, and apparently neither did anyone else.

So I always had a lot of cavities and it wasn’t really my fault so it kind of sucked a lot.

And then I had braces for like 4ish years, approximately from grades 6 to 9. I also had a night-brace and rubber bands. I didn’t really always follow the rules with those.

My teeth ended up completely straight, despite my insubordinate nature as a patient and my dislike for my orthodontist. But I still did have a slight jaw misalignment, which my orthodontist did say should have been fixed. Whether it be from his ability as a doctor of orthodontics or from my neglect of the rules is still unknown to me.

So that was that. Braces off.

Years later, I discovered that my inability to bite down on both sides of my mouth was something with which not all people had to suffer. It kind of bothered me but I just tried to forget about it because I didn’t want braces again.

I got two of my wisdom teeth out this past Summer. My dentist told me that I didn’t need the other two out. Now one of the other two is growing in and pushing on my other teeth. ‘Looks to me like those teeth should have come out. Time for a second surgery.

Recently I’ve been in some pain because of my jaw. It was really bad about two weeks ago, and it’s perfectly fine now. I’m not really sure what to do. There are some surgical options that I have, or I can go for braces again with new and high-tech devices. The idea of braces at the age of twenty kind of makes me want to break down and cry; no offense to anyone who is twenty with braces. We’ll see what happens…

So that’s where I am now. A jaw that is misaligned and rows of teeth that are likely to become crooked as a result of the impaction of my remaining wisdom teeth.

Looking back on it, this may be a kind of boring post. Well, in the least, you’ll have something to think about when you see me next.

26 October Permalink

Is that what they say?

They tell you to love yourself for who you are, to accept your flaws, and to embrace your individuality; but would they say that to just anyone?

What about the liars, the thieves, and the con-artists? The rapists, the kidnappers, and the killers? The mentally ill and the misunderstood? The narcissists, the sadists, and the extremists?

Are these too flaws that individuals should embrace, or rather, are they even flaws at all? Can they change who they are? Do these labels tell us enough about the individuality of a human? Would you love yourself if you were that different? Do we have the capacity to love what one might call a “monster?”

Do you find it interesting that this entire post is just one big question?

24 October 4 Permalink